What if I were to tell you that there is a thing inside every body that can steer people away from their goals, veer people into their darkest places and also bring them back.
If I was sat where you are, I’d probably be thinking he’s a bit dramatic.
This last month I’ve been training people and hammering targets, with some coaching on the sidelines. More rote training manual, less coaching forward.
I’ve also been beating myself up. For reasons I won’t mention I was thrown off my game and I’ve been berating myself since.
I’ve now realised a big reason why. Sun Tzu has a quote I’ve forgotten, but it taught me this:
If you know your enemy, you can weather a hundred battles. If you don’t know yourself, you’re outnumbered.
As it happens, I’ve been fighting the wrong enemy. This month I’ve fought my own resistance far more than anyone else… but I’m not here to talk about me.
That thing I mentioned earlier, is self-doubt.
The learners nightmare, the soul crusher… but also a life saver. Doubt is genuinely useful in the right context. Doubt says if I jump this gap, I might not make the other side. Doubt might say don’t leave that glass on the edge of the counter. However, doubt relies on an accurate picture of the world. The less you stretch yourself, the more doubt will defend you against life.
As a teacher or trainer, we need to recognise this in our students. Assuming their life circumstances, nutrition and ability to focus are in a good place, the next biggest biggest barrier is themselves.
This is where positive reinforcement comes in. Don’t challenge people to change their beliefs, instead provide a positive fast feedback environment. If you must correct a behaviour, put the error in it’s learning context and feed it back quickly. Most of your attention should be spent rewarding people for taking correct action, taking initiative and asking good questions.
This approach allows people to do things they didn’t know they could do. It let’s them be the captain of their ship and starves self-doubt of it’s biggest currencies - wandering attention and uncertainty.
Fast positive feedback is low effort. Your not saying your amazing. Just a little positive nudge - “That’s a really good question.” or “That was a tough call but you handled it well”. It’s a “keep up the good work”.
You don’t have to be an optimist, but its certainly easier if you believe your team can learn quickly.